“Happiness Looks Good On You”

Recently, I have had friends telling me “you’re so much happier now,” and “I love seeing how happy you are,” and while I’m definitely always going to be a work in progress, I have finally found ways to cope with the anxieties and mental struggles in life. This may not work for everyone, and it shouldn’t because everyone isn’t the same. If anything, I’m here to share my experience and how I have coped after everything I have been put through throughout 2017-2018.

First things first, take your time. Your journey to recovering and healing from something SO traumatic isn’t going to be a one and done thing. You aren’t going to get over something horrific and traumatizing over night, in a few months, or even a few years. You’re allowed to feel your pain, express your pain, and work through it in a healthy way on your own timeline. Someone doesn’t like that? Screw them. It’s not their feelings and if they’re going to make you feel invalid for yours, you clearly do not need them on your journey to recovering anyway. Especially if they are not even going to try to understand. You never need to feel like you should have to explain yourself to someone who doesn’t make the effort to empathize and just be there for you. I have had to cut so many people out of my life like this. Does it suck to be a little more lonely? Yes, but I know who my true friends and people are. I do not need anyone who sucks the life out of me in my life any longer. You owe NO ONE an explanation when you need to take care of yourself.

Before, I looked at everything as if things were always going to go wrong. I still do sometimes to be honest. I’m human and we all do that at some point. My newest goal for my mindset though is to stop being afraid of what could go wrong and focus on what could go right. When you’re trying to get into a better lifestyle and mindset, you have to start believing in yourself. Because guess what? You have SO MUCH potential. You have SO MUCH talent. You have SO MUCH to offer to the world. You are one in a million and you have one thing that is so unique to offer. Those voices in your head, if you let them, will fuck you up and drive you crazy. Tell them to shut up and stop listening to them. When you feel yourself starting to listen to them, remind yourself “I can do this, shut up,” and GO DO IT. For the longest time, I wanted to start a blog. I created the page and even had half of a post written, but I put it in drafts because I let the mentality of “I’m a failure,” win that day. You have to stop and push forward. Find something to make you get out bed everyday, something that inspires you everyday, and stop looking around at other’s successes and find your own successes. You’re capable of amazing things, don’t ever forget that.

Have you ever heard of The Little Engine that could? The children’s nighttime storybook where this little engine wanted to get over the hill, but kept doubting himself because he was “small” or “weak,” and kept talking himself down? By the end though he kept saying, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can,” and by the end he was over the hill. He never gave up and threw in the towel. He kept pushing and pushing until he accomplished his goal. He never let go of his determination or let himself fail. If things don’t go right the first time, try and try again. If you really want something to happen, you will make it happen. No matter the amount of hours, no sleep, or how small you start out, you have to keep going and never stop. That’s how you get to the top.

Two years ago, I was in college majoring in Musical Theatre. It was my absolute DREAM. After becoming pregnant with my daughter though, my priorities changed and I quickly came to learn that Musical Theatre was just something I enjoyed as a hobby and while it sucks I wasted so much money and time, it taught me to not give up in finding your happiness. Now I am happily back in school, doing my first semester back since having my daughter, working two jobs, and running this blog. It’s not completely ideal or even what I ever thought I’d be doing, but I have made all of that my goals and here I am, finally doing them! I have found my passion in being a mom and writing. Remember it’s okay to make mistakes, to have bad days, to be less than perfect, but it’s even more important to remember that it’s only a bad day, not a bad life.

I hope you all find your goals and reach them this year. You all deserve endless amounts of happiness and remember to be proud of yourself. You’re here on your own timeline and you’re doing amazing despite of what you may think or have been told to think. Much love.