Moms supporting Moms? ft. Morgan Holmes

“Behind every successful woman is a tribe of other successful women, who have her back.”  – Author Unknown

Let’s ditch the competition. As mother’s we should be uniting, not dividing. In this particular post, I am collaborating with my dear friend and fellow mama, Morgan! Be sure to also go and give her blog a follow @keepingupwiththecahills! Morgan and I strongly believe no matter what circumstance you are enduring, a mother is a mother. Morgan is happily engaged to her son’s father while my daughter’s father didn’t stick around. That’s just life sometimes. The thing with some mom’s is they make a competition of who has the best family, my family needs to be more “goals” than hers, etc. When in the end, either way we are young mom’s and we receive the same type of judgment. Instead of letting our circumstances divide us, we should come together and just support one another. Each story below was written by Morgan and myself. One is in her perspective and the other is in my perspective of how we may have different lifestyles, but at the end of the day we’re mom’s and mom’s who just feel we should all support, love, and encourage one another.

Part 1: Kaitlyn Nicole, @katandbaby

“Where is your child’s father?” or “You have a baby and you aren’t married?” and my favorite, “How old are you? You have a baby?” are questions I am asked daily. I’m asked these questions by anyone and everyone, yes, this includes other mom’s.

It may come to people’s surprise that yes, I got pregnant at nineteen and had my daughter a few short months after turning twenty. It’s even more of a shock that I’m no longer involved with her father or married, which of course makes me a single mother. Did I choose or plan to be a single mom at such a young age? Absolutely not, but let me inform you that being a single, young mom doesn’t make me any less of a mom. And that’s what I want to share and give knowledge to those who may be married mom’s or not even mom’s at all. Never judge a mother by her cover.

You wake up at random hours of the night for your baby, correct? Well guess what, so do I. Your child is your world, right? Mine is my world as well. You want to give everything you possibly can for your child to have a happy and successful life, yes? Yeah, I want and strive for the exact same for my child. Your kid spits-up and vomits and possibly gets every possible body fluid on you too, yeah? My clothes are also ruined and covered by my child’s body fluids as well. You see, we are MOTHERS. Yes, you got married first and followed the ideal rulebook, I’m truly happy for you because I wouldn’t wish anyone to have to be both mother and father. It’s not easy having to take on both roles because one parent is absent and it is not a single parent’s fault whether they’re a single mom or dad. Life happens and you keep going for your child, point blank. I say this because I see so much judgment towards single mothers. Someone always wants to point out, “you wouldn’t be a single mother if you chose a better person to have a baby with because you knew who you we’re with,” and to an extent, I agree. Then again, what’s the point of even saying that? What does it matter to you that some of us don’t get our child’s father helping us like you did? What do you gain from that? You honestly gain nothing except me respecting you a little less because you clearly don’t know how to let people have feelings whether they knew what they were getting into or not. People can do a complete three-sixty on you without looking back and it feels like you don’t even know that person anymore. So instead of judging and thinking your “opinion” like that matters, try putting it towards loving and being grateful your child’s father is there for you and your child.

At the end of the day, we are all mothers. We’re all struggling in some way and we are all trying to raise good, kind children. A relationship status shouldn’t define what kind of parent you are as long as you are a good one. And to the single mama’s out there who are feeling this on a completely relatable level right now, you are doing INCREDIBLE. That look someone gives when you say you’re a single mom, doesn’t matter. That snide remark or backhand comment someone gives when you say you’re a single mom, doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that little person who stretches their arms out for you or wants you to hold them when they need you most. Married, single, mama’s are mama’s, and at the end of the day we all should be uplifting one another more than shaming each other so much. Mom’s need to be empowering other mom’s. We are raising the next generation and we are raising the future. Fighting over what you do as a parent is silly when we could instead be educating each other and saying, “you’re a great mom, you got this!”

Part 2: Morgan Holmes, @keepingupwiththecahills

“Will you marry me?”
The question I had been waiting to be asked since I was a little girl… Ideally, you would get married before you start a family, right? That’s what everyone initially thinks. I don’t agree. There is no right or wrong way to start a family. And there is no right or wrong way to be a mom, as long as you are trying your best. The day my fiancé proposed, I didn’t see it coming. It was on his birthday, so I assumed that day would be all about him. He sat our son on his knee and popped the big question. I said yes.
I too, get asked “You have a baby? How old are you” These days, being a young mother is so common. People just can’t seem to get behind the fact that a 21 year old can support a human being. Well, I am here to tell you that I can, and I am kicking motherhood’s ass. I give the upmost props to single mothers. Doing everything yourself, working, providing, all while trying to take care of yourself? Damn. You go. Seriously, it’s hard enough having someone there to help you when you need the help. You ladies are doing it flawlessly.
I think the hardest part for me, is keeping my mental health in check. While I have the help with my son and a shoulder to lean on, I still feel alone sometimes. I still want to give up. And often times, I feel like I’m not doing nearly enough, or that I’m disappointing my son. My fiancé is always reassuring me but that doesn’t always work. I question myself day in and day out. But that is okay! Because at the end of the day, my son is happy, healthy and beautiful, and that’s all that I can hope for.
I guess our point is… Your parenting skills should absolutely not be judged by your age. 16? 20? 30? You are a mom. And a damn good one. You are doing amazing, and we see you.

“When women support each other, incredible things happen.” -Unknown

All the love, Kat and Morgan.